Stan invites Lewis' old friend from prison to the wedding, only to discover a secret that could prevent the wedding from happening at all. Meanwhile, Roger finds the perfect pair of shorts, and an encounter with Ricky Martin guest-voicing as himself makes him question his self-confidence.
After realizing that he has missed every milestone in Steve's life, Stan makes a desperate attempt to bond with his son by creating a busty blonde bombshell alias, Phyllis guest voice Sarah Michelle Gellar , whom he sends Steve's way.
When Stan oversteps his boundaries, Francine intervenes to keep Steve's virginity out of "blonde's" way. Meanwhile, Roger starts his own limo service, and when a group of guys "drive and dash," he goes on a manhunt to get his revenge. When Stan runs into his former crush from CIA boot camp, his affection for her resurfaces, which drives Francine into a jealous frenzy.
By including Roger in her plan for revenge, Francine accidentally leads him straight into the arms of a dangerous alien hunter. But after the two get in a fight and cause a scene, Stan is kicked out of the church. Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff guest voice Jeff Fischer adopt a child who turns out to be possessed. Meanwhile, Francine is going through an identity crisis of her own when she receives surprising news that could change the family forever.
When Stan finally has enough money to afford a membership at the golf club he has worked at for the past thirty summers, his hard work and perseverance prove to be futile when the club gives membership to Steve first.
However, things are not all what they seem when Stan realizes who the club owner really is. Stan joins Roger and Steve's fictional detective agency, but he ruins the fun by being extremely incompetent at his job.
Roger demands that Steve fire Stan, but Steve cannot bring himself to do it and ends up lying to Roger. Things take a turn for the worse when Stan is kidnapped, and Steve must tell Roger the truth. When Stan is overly enthusiastic about his hatred for old people, a hex is placed on him that turns him into a frail, old man. When Barry guest voice Thomas threatens Stan's old high school wrestling record, Stan enlists Roger in school to beat Barry and defend his small claim to fame.
However, Stan is caught off-guard when Roger, not Barry, is actually the threat to Stan's record. Roger acts as the Smith family therapist under his "Dr. Penguin" alter-ego, but his services are put on hold when he is sent to Iraq to fight in the war. Klaus seizes his opportunity to be the go-to counselor of the household, but ends up causing a major ruckus. However, when the dog suffers a horrific accident, Stan refuses to take the pup off life support because of a traumatic childhood incident.
After losing patience with Hayley and Jeff for their freeloading ways, Stan bets the young couple that he and Francine can live on minimum wage for a month. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger embark on a mission to test drive the car of their dreams. Stan discovers that Francine was unfaithful one night before she and Stan married.
With the possibility that Hayley may not be his biological daughter, he travels back in time to find out who the mystery dad might be. But when he inadvertently disrupts the events of the past, he must do everything to avoid changing the future.
Meanwhile, Stan and Francine are in for a surprise when their sponsored child from Africa shows up on their doorstep. When Stan catches Steve playing imaginary games with his toys, he decides to take his son down to Mexico to help him become a man. When the Smiths decide to stay home during a hurricane that hits Quahog, Stoolbend and Langley Falls, they must fight tooth and nail to survive. S7, Ep3. While Stan and Francine go on vacation to a water park, Roger upsets Steven when he uses his new custody status to get principal Lewis fired.
S7, Ep4. Stan convinces principal Lewis to get married so that he will get to be the best man, but his plan hits a snag when he invites principal Lewis's old cell mate to the wedding. Meanwhile, Roger goes to Miami to show off his new shorts. S7, Ep5. Stan creates the avatar of a sexy high school girl so that he can participate more in Steve's life, and Roger gets revenge on a group of fraternity brothers who stiffed him on a limo ride. S7, Ep6.
Stan gets insanely jealous when Roger picks up on his old crush from CIA boot camp, and Steve discovers that he has a pair of "lucky panties". S7, Ep7. Stan is excommunicated from the church, but he finds a way to get back in when he discovers that Haley and Jeff's newly adopted son is actually the Antichrist.
S7, Ep8. While Stan and Francine try to figure out if Francine is pregnant, Steve tries to become a superhero in a desperate effort to gain his dad's respect, only to have Roger steal the spotlight. S7, Ep9. Stan's efforts to teach Steve the value of hard work and earn membership to a country club backfire on him, and Francine tries to come up with the next big catchphrase.
S7, Ep Steve and Roger try to solve a case as the fictional detectives "Wheels and the Legman," but Stan threatens to ruin the whole case by joining the team as their new sidekick. An old man puts a hex on Stan that causes him to age prematurely, while Roger deliberately misleads Francine in order to get her to go along on a strange mission.
Stan is willing to go to extreme lengths to make sure that Steve's friend Barry doesn't break his consecutive wrestling wins record. Klaus gets one of Roger's alter egos deployed to Iraq so that he can take over as the family therapist, but he winds up doing more harm than good.
Stan refuses to get Steve a pet dog, but Francine buys him one anyway. But when the dog is injured and winds up on life support, Stan is willing to go to outrageous lengths to keep it alive. Stan and Francine try to live a month on a minimum wage salary to prove a point to Haley and Jeff, while Roger and Steve try to get their hands on a Ferrari to get back at Klaus.
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